Life Empowering

Men & Women

March 28, 2008

Men and women.

There are many differences between them that we might not
know yet.

Recently the Lord graciously let some of those differences
be known to me through many ways. Through preachers preached at church, service
audio cassettes, TBN programs (talk show and such), and chat with my mom.

I’m going to write some I’ve known. Hopefully it would help
many of us, who might not know yet, in maintaining marriage relationship or as
a preparation. I’ll use English and Indonesian, which one I found easier to
explain. The same number indicates the difference between men and women in
particular section.

MEN

1. Cenderung berpikir ke depan, bagaimana mempersiapkan masa depan, how to financially support his future family. Kalau kondisi dimasa sekarang belum dipersiapkan/mapan, pria mayoritas tidak akan berani melangkah ke jenjang berikutnya dalam sebuah hubungan. Logic rules.
2. Pay
   more attention to bigger scope, not to details.
3. Harga diri seorang pria menjadi utuh jika ia mendapatkan penghormatan dan rasa dikagumi. Itu sebabnya di Alkitab tertulis, “Istri tunduklah kepada suamimu”. Ladies don’t forget to say “Thank you” in a proper way when your spouse do something good to you, big or small.
4. Sexual
   relationship is crucial.
5. When facing problems, men tend to keep silent.
6. Love to feel challenged with macro projects. E.g. surprise his spouse with 12
        roses or other macro things at one time (particular moment).
7. Strong
   physically, yet not emotionally. E.g. to wake up every 2 hours at night
        (when you have a baby) would be a torment to men. When they wake up in the
        morning, probably they’ll feel like their spirit isn’t present in their mortal body and their face might turn into raccoon’s.

WOMEN

1. Tends to think about what happens right now. Wanita mayoritas lebih mementingkan kondisi relationship saat ini. Permasalahan yang mungkin belum terpecahkan pasangannya saat ini akan dipecahkan bersama-sama seiring jalannya waktu. Feeling rules.
2. Pay attention to details.
3. Wanita merasa dihargai dan utuh jika ia dikasihi dan diperhatikan. Itu sebabnya di Alkitab tertulis, “Suami kasihilah istrimu seperti dirimu sendiri”. Guys don’t forget to let your spouse know you love her in daily basis through your doings toward her.
4. Feeling loved and safe is crucial.
5. When
   facing problems, women tend to speak out.
6. Love to feel loved with small-everyday things. E.g. women would prefer to receive one rose every day in twelve days rather than 12 roses at one time.
7. Not very strong physically, yet emotionally. E.g. to wake up every 2 hours at
        night won’t be such torment to women as to men. They might wake up in the
        morning with full spirit and raccoonless face.

Those are some differences. Of course there’re still more
than mentioned above. That is why God created marriage, because we need to be
in balance. But the problem is, when 2 kinds of opposite characteristic meet,
akan terjadi benturan dan gesekan. Hal inilah yang menimbulkan pertengkaran dan
salah paham in marriage.

One thing we should know, that marriage means commitment.
Commitment means one way ticket, there’s no turning back. We should not say
“give up” in marriage. Ketika pertengkaran/gesekan terjadi, yang harus
dikatakan adalah “we will make it right (in God’s grace)”. And when you get
through it, you’ll find an absolutely better you and better spouse of yours.
More balance, more understanding, better character, and God’s glory revealed! Amen!

Like a song once said,

You’ve got to give a little, take a little, and let your
poor heart break a little. That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

I don’t like the heart-break part though.. *lol*

(Q, from many sources)

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